How did I get into this.....situation? Life had been going along nicely - wonderful husband, beautiful property, horse of my dreams, great j.o.b. that paid all the bills and that I actually enjoyed. But something was missing. What had happened to my dreams?
When I was little, I wanted to be Dale Evans, Roy Rogers wife. My mom even went along with that little fantasy, telling me she and my dad had actually considered naming me Dale. I think she was hoping if I would focus on being Dale-the-person, I would stop acting like Buttermilk-the-horse and embarassing everyone in the family with my foot-stomping and nickering. It wasn't so bad at home, but in public? In church? I was pretty obsessed with all things equine at a fairly young age.
Fast forward a number of years and the horse obsession hadn't lessened much, although the nickering was confined to less public venues. I started dreaming about having a riding stable and giving riding lessons to kids. Yeah, that sounded like fun! Plus, I could share my love of horses and all animals, and help kids understand we're all connected somehow. What a cool idea.
No money in this, though, eh? Gotta make the dollars. My younger self was easily swayed onto the path of least resistance; getting a good job and being a good citizen. Living the safe life. Nobody's fault but my own, that. After all, when I had enough money, then I could afford the large property, the school horses, the covered arena, etc etc etc. Rationalization ran rampant.
Little by little the dream drifted away. Until.....
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