Blog has MOOVED

To all of our followers on this blog: Thank you so much for your support! Now that Harmony's Heart Farm has its own website, this blog will no longer be used.

To continue following the adventures at Harmony's Heart Farm, click on www.harmonysheartfarm.com, which will take you to the home page and blog. On the right side of the screen, you can type in your email address and continue to receive notifications whenever a blog is posted.

We look forward to visiting with you at Harmony's Heart Farm.

With Love,
Ashara and Wilma

The Essence of a Woman

I received an email from my friend Martin Hahn, whose company, Setting Hearts Free, provides an extraordinary journey of discovery that shouldn't be missed. Check out his website at www.settingheartsfree.com.

The following essay totally touched my heart.

The Essence of a Woman

When we speak about the essence of a woman - her beauty - we don't mean "the perfect figure." The beauty of a woman is first a soulish beauty. We know - it's a harder jump to make. Many women have lived so long under the pressure to be beautiful.

But stay with the thought for a moment, because it will really help. The beauty of a woman is first a soulful beauty. And yes, many women live it out, own it, inhabit their beauty, and do become more lovely. More alluring. Your true self becomes reflected in your appearance. But it flows from the inside out.

Beauty is what the world longs to experience from a woman. We know that - somewhere down deep, we know it to be true. So hear this:

Beauty is an essence that dwells in every woman. It was given to her by God. It was given to you.

All around us God's creation shouts of his beauty and his goodness. The way snow creates a silhouette of lace on a barren tree, the rays of sun streaming forth from a billowing cloud, the sound of a brook trickling over smooth stones, the form of a woman's body and the face of a child anticipating the arrival of the ice cream truck all speak of God's good heart if we will have but the eyes to see. The coming of spring after a hard winter is almost too glorious for a soul to bear.

Beauty may be the most powerful thing on earth. Beauty speaks. Beauty invites. Beauty nourishes. Beauty comforts. Beauty inspires. Beauty is transcendent. Beauty draws us to God.

A woman in her glory, a woman of beauty, is a woman who is not striving to become beautiful or worthy or enough. She knows in her quiet center where God dwells that He finds her beautiful, has deemed her worthy and in him, she is enough. In fact, the only thing getting in the way of our being fully captivating and enjoyed is our hiding and striving.

A woman of true beauty is a woman who in the depths of her soul is at rest; trusting God because she has come to know Him to be worthy of her trust.

She exudes a sense of calm; a sense of rest; and invites those around her to rest as well. She speaks comfort; that all is well; that all will be well. A woman of true beauty offers others the grace to be and the room to become. In her presence, one can release the tight sigh that so often grips our hearts, and breathe in the truth that God loves us and he is good.

This is why you must keep asking and discovering the deeper truths of your heart and soul. The whole world longs for the beauty of a woman to be revealed and offered as her greatest gift.
------------------------

Thank you, Martin, this is so beautiful!

Impact

It has been quite a month for passages. I received an email the other day from Abraham-Hicks (www.abraham-hicks.com). Jerry Hicks had transitioned to non-physical, as Abraham would say. The message written by his wife, Esther, was beautiful, positive, and uplifting. I cried my eyes out for this man I didn't know, remembering how Jerry and Esther were always "Jerry and Esther", side by side in their journey to bring Abraham to the world.

I will miss seeing Jerry's physical self sitting in front of the computer at an Abraham event, joyously recording every syllable, and asking his own unique brand of questions. He'll still be there, though. We'll feel him, laughing at all of Abraham's jokes, and scooping every soul in the room into his very substantial heart.

Farewell, sweet Willow

Willow was released from her body this morning about 10:30am. She was ready to go; she had lived 26 years, and although she was aiming for 32 for reasons unknown to we mere humans, she decided the time had come to move on.

Before she came into our lives, Willow was known as Sammie and had an illustrious career as a roping horse. Hard work, that, and she paid for it in her body. Her years with us were spent in retirement, the sun on her back, keeping some of the younger horses in line, and being a gentle observer of the comings and goings in the barn.

As she passed, Marieh called out to her from the barn, wishing her winged hooves on the next part of her journey. We will all miss her.

What's in a Word?

EGO. When I think of that word, Freud does not necessarily leap to mind. What I think about is generally negative - "oh, s/he's got quite the ego, doesn't s/he?" That sort of thing, said, of course in a disparaging way.

I mentioned in one of my coaching calls something about my ego getting in my way, and wise Coach Peggy thought about that for a second, and then, in her loving way, questioned my sanity about the whole ego thing.

The primary definition of EGO, according to dictionary.com, is thus: "The “I” or self of any person; a person as thinking, feeling, and willing, and distinguishing itself from the selves of others and from objects of its thought."

Well, that sounds pretty okay. And look at this definition:
"(often initial capital letter) Philosophy.
a. The enduring and conscious element that knows experience.
b. Scholasticism. the complete person comprising both body and soul."

Whoa.

So, if EGO is the complete person comprising both body and soul, and I say my ego is getting in my way, I guess what I'm really saying is that I am getting in my way.

Gotta think about that.

Wilma as Healer

Beautiful Wilma took my grandaughter, Jayden, and her mom for a little "pony ride" earlier this week. Jayden, who is almost two, has never been on a horse. Grandma's heart absolutely soared when the ride was over and Jayden DID NOT WANT TO GET OFF!

Wilma makes everyone feel safe and loved; what a wonderful horse to have in our healing herd.

You can view photos at www.harmonysheartfarm.com

p.s. I also cannot believe I am actually referring to myself as "Grandma"....

LiLi as Teacher

I have lots of teachers in my life. LiLi, my Friesian cross filly friend, has traveled with me in this life in a number of animal bodies, and is in her latest incarnation as my teacher, muse, and all around heartstring puller.

She teaches me a lesson, and then I read about it in a book. The book in this case is "Midas Touch" by Donald Trump and Robert Kiyasaki. It's about what it takes to be an entrepreneur. And what I was reading about recently in that book, after the debacle of the hoof, is emotional maturity.

Look at this face. Who could resist those big brown eyes, especially when she has such interesting things to say?

I May be Only Human, And That's No Excuse

I had a hard day at work and then tried to change a dressing on my yearling filly's rear fetlock on MY schedule. Of course she wouldn't keep her foot on the ground. Lots of incongruence in the stall.

I lost my temper and yelled at her and yanked on the halter. My husband, the non-horse person, reminded me to step back and take deep breaths. Lots of them.

After I calmed down and finished the job, on Lili's schedule, I begged her forgiveness. Which, being a horse, and a fairly evolved one at that, she gave me.

I know better. There's no excuse. I feel terrible.

Go-Getter? Go-Giver, and Exuberant Proponent of Your Gifts

Our society is obsessed with go-getting, an activity that has people constantly working for, searching after and worrying about the next client, the next dollar. I've done it myself: "How do I get people to come to my workshops?"

Why would anyone want to come to a workshop when it's defined by that that kind of attitude? It's desperate. I've GOT to make it happen. By pushing, I'm setting up all sorts of walls for people to resist. And of course, I didn't want to be shamelessly promoting myself, so there's another wall. Did I like what I had to offer, or didn't I?

My coach said to me one day, after I had spent several minutes moaning about how no one was signing up for my latest workshop, "Have you heard of go-giving?" What? What's that?

Go-giving - the process of opening one's heart to one's gifts and to the world. When I open my heart, in a spirit of giving the gifts I possess to someone else, miracles happen. Since considering and attempting to live from a go-giving mentality, I've had more conversations and more interest in the Equine Gestalt Coaching framework than I've had since I began my certification. The energy is soft, approachable, and open to helping an individual rather than getting their money.

When one go-gives, one can also be an exhuberant proponent of the gift being offered. That movie, "Field of Dreams", said it so well: "If you build it, they will come." Built with love, enjoyed without reservation, and shared with anyone who wishes it.

Amazing CORE

I just finished my third CORE. Usually when I come to a CORE, I blog almost every day about it. This one, however, was very unusual and so emotionally charged by outside factors that I simply could not express my experiences. It is still difficult to do so, and so tonight I'll just provide a quick overview of what happened for me, and in a few days post a bit more. Maybe. Just have to see how I feel about it all.

I coached my first piece of work at this CORE, and it went well. I was happy with the result, and received positive feedback. It feels natural to coach, and that feels good.

I also did a big piece of personal work for myself, coached by my "twin" herdmate. She did an excellent job helping release my inner judge, that nasty little critic that sometimes just won't shut up. The judge can be useful, but like anything, too much judge is toxic. And my little judge pal was being a bit more toxic than necessary. It will be interesting to see how I relate and feel in the world, now that judge and I have come to an understanding.

That's it. Tired, desiring some time to kick back and think about nothing much except turning the pages of a good book.

First Workshop

Last weekend I hosted my very first EGCMethod(tm) workshop at Harmony's Heart Farm. I think it went really well, and I learned so much!

The attendees were all friends. There were no paying customers in this one, and that was okay. It was the first time for "Which YOU Shows Up?", and I was okay with trying it out on my friends. My friends were all good sports, even the ones who originally signed up to be horse handlers, and then ended up being invitees. They all hung in there, through the good and the not so good.

The horses were amazing! Marieh, who has been on the fence about whether or not she wants to do this work, decided to dip her hoof in, and as a result she did a very nice piece of work with one of the clients. The client got a lot out of it, and Marieh seemed to enjoy herself. We will continue to ask Marieh if she is interested, until she gets off the fence and decides whether or not this is for her.

Wilma was her usual calm, loving self. She did an awesome job being the model for the safety demo, and gave excellent feedback to each person who groomed her.

The star of the show in my mind, though, is yearling Lili, Wilma's granddaughter. She is a credit to both the Friesian and Quarter Horse world. This little girl has inherited the best of both breeds. She is sensible, kind, curious, and willing to hang with the humans. She absolutely BEGGED to be part of the proceedings, and as a result, she got a lot of grooming, giving excellent feedback to each of her groomers, and also did a piece of arena work, where she played her part fabulously. She rivals Grandma Wilma in her ability to shine her light and draw people in. I am so lucky to have her in my life!

All in all, it was an excellent day, and I look forward to our next workshop - more on the way!

Risk

I've always been super conservative when it comes to riding horses. I like to do a lot of walking before trotting, a lot of trotting before cantering, and I can't remember the last time I galloped a horse anywhere. I think I may have been around 16. So I don't know who was at the helm of my brain when I trotted my horse full out toward a low-hanging branch on one of the trails in my neighborhood.

Could it have been the person who is evolving into someone else as a result of the Touched By a Horse EGC Method certification program? I can actually feel myself changing. I'm starting to understand that we all have a light that shines, and hiding it under a bushel basket is detrimental to all the good that can come from that light. That giving workshops and coaching people with my equine co-facilitators is something that can help other people shine their light, too. Maybe it was this person, the one who is starting to risk thinking she can have a career that allows her to be around horses and make a living.

However, that person is still reveling in the ability to do anything remotely resembling a risk, and hasn't quite figured out when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em. Trail - branch - rapidly trotting horse. Definitely a fold 'em situation. But noooooo. The branch didn't look that big. I was betting on it being fairly easy to push out of the way as we went by.

Wilma ducked, smoothly gliding right under it. And me? I realized, as it started to sweep me off my horse, that the branch was quite a bit more substantial than I had bargained on. Uh oh. Life began moving along in slow motion as I leaned to the left, hands still on the reins, trying to keep myself within proximity of the saddle and hopefully recover my balance. It moved slower still when it occurred to me that I was gazing at Wilma's left shoulder as she slowly turned in a circle and tried to keep us both upright while I hung on to the reins, and that she couldn't straighten out because I was sliding closer to the ground and taking her head with me. Ground looked pretty close at that point. Released the reins. Horse gratefully straightened out. Boink. Bum hit the dirt. Horse stared at me in relief and disbelief, letting me know that despite me she had managed to stay on her feet, and how COULD I do that to her?

Excellent question, one that I will ponder for some time to come. Was the risk worth the tumble? I was lucky. I have a strong, stout horse, and both my feet slipped out of the stirrups, although finding the right stirrup draped over the top of the saddle had me wondering just how far I'd gone before stirrup and foot parted company. Another lucky thing was that my treeless saddle actually stayed on top of the horse, a strong testimony to the excellent design (www.promisefarmandalusians.com/fhoenixhome.html - tell them Ashara sent you). 

I'm fine, stupid meter working overtime notwithstanding; Wilma is fine, and got a full body massage and shower when we got home (along with countless apologies, again. Thank goodness she loves me). No real harm done. As I said, I was lucky. A small failure in the sensible decisions department, and I live to try again. Kind of like life.

The bottom line - Risk is good; however, make sure you have a clear understanding of the risk before you run at it headlong, and if you're not sure, slow down. You'll still get there, and you won't have a sore bum.

Nothing Happening Here

I wish! Been really busy getting ready for the workshop on August 5th. More about that later, though....

I've been reading Linda Kohanov's book "The Tao of Equus." Fascinating stuff, I highly recommend it for pretty much anyone, horse lover or not. Among many other things, she discusses doing nothing with her horses, as in she just hangs out with them and soaks in life. Through doing nothing, she gained valuable insights and a constantly deepening relationship with her equine companions.

The other day I tried this. I had no idea how busy I can make myself. I've always considered myself fairly laid back, able to avoid doing anything quite skillfully. So I figured, how hard can this be? I threw a bareback pad on my equally laid-back Wilma, hopped on and took her out to the pasture so she could graze and I could just sit there and do nothing.

Except....I found myself getting impatient with how long it would take Wilma to decide a particular patch of grass was eaten enough and move on to another. I started seeing things in the pasture I thought deserved a closer look. I wondered if the fence on the other end of the pasture had indeed been removed and wanted to find out. Hey, Wilma, let's go look at that...

Excellent teacher that she is, Wilma pretty much ignored my attempts to get her to move until I was just so annoying she would shuffle forward a few feet and then quite emphatically plant her hooves. We did this several times until it occurred to me what I was doing. I was being BUSY. This was not the same as doing NOTHING.

I got on Wilma with the agreement that we would do nothing together. She could graze, I'd sit there and enjoy the scenery from her broad back. And then I broke the agreement by trying to move her to (what I thought was) a better patch of grass, or over there to that weed that maybe I could pluck while sitting on her. She was quite content to let things flow. "Busy, busy human, just enjoy the sun and being together and get on with doing nothing!" My mare is always kind with her reprimands.

So I stopped directing, started flowing, and just sat there. I let my mind idle as I listened to the birds, and realized just how often planes fly over our house and disturb the silence. I watched Wilma choose the tastiest pieces of grass and pull them into her mouth, and reveled in the contentment created by her munching. I felt the sun on my back. I guess I was still a little busy with all this observation, but at least I let Wilma alone. It's a start.

Workshop - the eight-letter four-letter word

Remember a while back I was saying “no, no, NO” to doing a workshop? The power of N-O. Begone, workshop, from my presence!! All good stuff. I gave myself permission to take care of myself, instead of trying to please someone else. Totally appropriate, and perfect for where I was at that moment.

Here’s the next chapter in that adventure. A little backstory: My husband’s job was reclassed, meaning that the entire scope of his position in the department in which he works, changed. Oops, not a good fit any more! He is a valued contributor, so the company wants to keep employing him. Unfortunately, this time of year positions that suit his particular talents are still in planning stages. Lots of potential, just not right now. So, since he’s got quite a bit of time in on the job, he’s taking a sabbatical. No money, but he’s still an employee and maintains his seniority, vacation, and pay level. The idea is that jobs will be opening up in a month or three/four/five, and one of them will be perfect for him. This is a rather long-winded way of saying that at the moment, we’re living on savings and one paycheck.

Since our belts have by necessity tightened up a little bit, I offered to miss my next CORE to save the airfare to Denver, if it came to that. Every dollar counts.

Then I reflected a little. I had some stock I could sell to come up with the airfare if need be; that would be easy. I was a little reluctant , though. What if we needed that money for something else, like hay for the horses, or some emergency repair? What else could I do?

Then it came to me (and since you are a smart audience, I’m sure you’ve been there for at least a paragraph or two).

I’ll do a one-day WORKSHOP.

Just like that, my mindset about workshops did a 180. This level of commitment is something I’ve grappled with forever – coming up with a solution that takes me out of my comfort zone, and could potentially fail. The easy out was to use money from stocks and deal with other expenses as they arose. The growth path is just stepping up and doing the darn workshop. It will be fun; we’re going to explore which “you” shows up at work (since we all have lots of roles and masks we put on and take off all day long), and then find out which “you” is looking for fulfilling work, the kind that has you jumping out of bed in the morning, raring to go. Is that “you” the same person who shows up at the office or warehouse or store? The horses are going to have a blast helping people discover their real “you”!

And me? I’ll have a blast doing the workshop!

Missing the Energy

Tuesday afternoon, just at the time our weekly teleclass is scheduled, I was sitting on an airplane waiting to fly back to Seattle. It was the weirdest feeling, knowing that class was going on and I wasn't listening in. This is the first class I've missed. Felt a bit empty not being in the classroom! Looking forward to listening once it's posted on the website, and then notifying Coach of "the word" for the credit!

Second CORE - Day 4 - Sunday, June 12

Here we are, our final day of CORE. It's been a heck of a ride! In the morning there was some time to do a few more pieces of work. There was some unfinished business with a couple of the students, so I told Melisa that if we didn't get to the piece I wanted to work on, it was okay. I was sad to let it go, and also felt that the group synergy was on a certain path, and that path should be completed.

After lunch, we did gathered for a final bit of time with one of the horses, and then closed the day. It was goodbye to this CORE, because there will never be another one like it. Saying goodbye to the container is a little like ripping out all the safety nets we put in place - being out in the "real" world is definitely not like this!

Glenn and his sister picked me up at 4 pm. I introduced them around; there were a couple of herd mates Glenn had not yet met, and his sister got to meet them all for the first time. That was fun, especially since Sis is a musician, and one of my herdmates left behind her rock band when she moved to Colorado. They had a nice connection.

I don't feel as wiped out as I did at the first CORE. Things seem to be integrating nicely. Last time I was a total vegetable. I felt so bad because I spent time with Sis and her son, and we pretty much just stared at one another. This time it feels like I'll actually be able to carry on a conversation!

Spending a couple more days in Colorado and then heading home. I have loved being here, and can hardly wait for the next CORE I'll be attending, in August. Until then, I'll keep the memory of my herdmates alive and well in the very CORE of my being.

Second CORE - Day 2 - Saturday, June 11

Fun times! Day three is when the bulk of personal work is done, and today was a doozy. Lots of Ah Ha’s and realizations, a hip that ached because it wanted to be noticed, tears and joy. Lots of learning. As I watched my fellow students take on the role of coach and deal with whatever came their way, my respect for them grew and grew. For some, it was their first time in the “hot seat.” Everyone’s coaching was an inspiration. I know I’ll soon be in that same hot seat, and I know that it will be a positive learning experience, no matter what it looks like. The container we create for one another is safe and secure. I trust my fellows implicitly.

I had the good fortune to participate in a reflective round pen exercise with Abhain the Gypsy Vanner, who used to be with me in Washington. This was his first day on the job, and what a tremendous job he did! His joy at doing this work radiates from him, along with his love and caring. He has grown into himself in the last six months, and is calm and focused. I was able to thank him for giving me the gift of this program, and he thanked me for sending him to the place he was meant to be, with Melisa. It was a sweet moment, and I so appreciate and respect the fine horse he has become.

Almost all of us went to dinner together, and my husband, Glenn, joined us. We set him at the head of the table as the token masculine energy, and we all had a ball. Talk about appreciation! I don’t know too many husbands who would come to dinner with 10 powerful women and survive to tell the tale! I look forward to being reunited with him tomorrow night. For today, though, it was back with my sisters to rest, rejuvenate, and look forward to our final day.

Second CORE - Day 2 - Friday, June 10

Well, guess what? I woke up, on my own, with plenty of time to get ready and head over to Melisa’s with the other students. Didn’t even need my phone alarm; the sun did a fine job of letting me know when to get my bum out of bed and dressed. All that anxiety for nothing. I have a room to myself at the house, very nice, and my housemates are all awesome, caring women.

Morning was spent talking about temperament, insurance and other business-type items. In the afternoon the real fun began, with pieces of work. I related to all of them. I can’t believe that at the last CORE I thought there was nothing in me to work on. Hardy har har har har! There’s enough to keep me busy well into the next century!

The main event of the day, however, was the graduation of five students. They are called the Mid-Pack, and are the second group of graduates through the Equine Gestalt Coaching Method certification program. It was a beautiful ceremony, and incredibly moving, with a few jokes, and a lot of heartfelt tears. Family and friends watched on in pride as their loved ones received their certificates, everyone had cake, and hugs were happening everywhere. I had the privilege of being in my first CORE with two of the graduates, and did pieces of work with both of them. I’m so grateful I had the opportunity to get to know them, and also another graduate who is in this CORE, and know our paths will continue to cross as the community grows. Ahhhhh, I love this community!

Second CORE - Day 1 - Thursday, June 9

Arrived at my second CORE today. Lots of people from out of town, so Melisa’s place is full to overflowing. I am flowing over into the house of one of the other students, who has generously opened her home to five of us. For my introvert self, this is a bit of a challenge - strange place, new people to meet. Happily, one of my herdmates from CORE #1 will be bunking down in the same place.

Another interesting opportunity has been thrown into the mix. My phone doesn’t work. Somehow, downloading an update to the email application has put it into a permanent reboot loop. Removing the battery and letting it sit for a while has not helped. How will I know when to get up? How will I even know what time it is? Will my phone ever regain its mind? This is causing a bit of anxiety.

The first evening of CORE, we do a check-in and then Melisa demonstrates how to do a genogram. I volunteered to be the client, and we had a great time drawing lots of circles and squares denoting the people in my life, past and present. A trend emerges. Most of my intimate relationships, save the current one, lasted less than four years. It was four years before my mother had her first child, and she has told me in the last few years that my birth was the happiest day of her life, because she craved a child so much. Four years later, my brother was born. My first memory is of being at my brother’s baptismal party, sitting at a table away from everyone else, by myself, eating lobster. I was four years old. Four, four, four, four. Amazing. There’s more work to do around this one, which hopefully will happen this weekend. There were some knowing looks passing between Coach Peggy and Melisa, and of course they weren’t telling.

After that we moved on to a Mandala demo, with a different student client, and then we paired up with another student, and I played client again, building a mandala with one of the senior students. It was a fun time, and I feel a little more integrated into the genogram and mandala as a way to open doors for a client’s session.

A First

I conducted my first session last weekend. It was a practice session, and my husband, who had something he wanted to work on, agreed to be my vict-..., er, client.

One word, grossly overused, but appropriate: Wow.

Even though my skillset and toolbox at this point are pretty slim, there were results, and Glenn said he got a lot of out of it. I can trust my husband to give me a fair assessment of his experience. If I got stuck on what to ask or which direction to go, I just sat there, and in a pretty short space of time a question or direction would reveal itself. I trusted in the process, and it worked!

The most amazing and humbling part, though, was the critical role my beloved Wilma played. She has obviously, once again, just been waiting around for me to get my act together so she could do what she was born for - use her considerable skills to help humans. She let Glenn know when he was right on the mark, and when he backed away or deflected, so did she. And she gave him so much love it was an expansion for all of us on so many levels.

Youngster Lili, Wilma's granddaughter, observed the session with great eagerness. She soooo wanted to jump in and help. Instead, I kept her beside me so we could both watch the master at work. I know she took it all in and has been mulling it over, like I have. This is a filly who learned to wear a halter and be lead by watching the experiences of the other horses.  She is as incredible as grandma Wilma!

This weekend a dear friend is going to sit in the chair, and we are going to partner with one of her horses, who are eager to assist her in her growth. I so appreciate all of my friends, human and equine, who are confirming for me that this is the path I should be on.