The Healing Herd

With River gone to Melisa, my healing herd is now five mares (in order of age): Willow, Wilma, Zimi, Marieh and Lili. They are as diverse as the people I am sure they will be serving. As time goes on I'll talk about all of them, but today I just had to share something I saw the other morning that touched my heart in a special way. (And I wish I had had my camera handy! MUST carry it at all times!)

Being just nine months old, Lili has a lot of energy and loves to play. River was just starting to be her playmate, and now he has gone on to his next adventure, so Lili is at loose ends. Or so I thought....

The other morning I saw Lili tearing it up in our large pasture and right behind her was - WILMA! Her Grandma, mother of Lili's sire Patric, has stepped up to the challenge of entertaining a young filly. Wilma, 20 years old, kicking and bucking and chasing Lili in circles around the pasture.

Wilma is constantly showing me how we can be ourselves and still show up in so many different ways. Sage, companion, gentle purveyor of empathy and listening, and now, 2-year old! Yep, just take the zero off her age, and that's my girl, playing with her granddaughter with all the love and enthusiasm in her huge heart. What an inspiration this mare is!

Visions

My Coach, Peggy, encouraged me to start writing my Vision. In this context, "Vision" is a day in the life of ME, set sometime in the future, and written in the first person, like it's happening right now. I found this to be quite a revealing, and very fun, exercise. Here's part of it. The date is April 25, 2013 (and I have no idea why...but nothing happens by chance)

I put on some water for tea and make a bowl of oatmeal for us both. We eat breakfast contentedly, discussing our plans for the day. Glenn is going out on several photos shoots. I have some private clients today, plus I’m going to spend some time driving Wilma and doing more ground play with Lili. As we eat, we can see our barn helper feeding the horses. They are such a hoot, standing at the fence in a line, each one in their place, knowing the hay is on its way. Wilma, of course, is always at the front. Being boss mare has its advantages!

Breakfast over, Glenn and I embrace, kiss, and head off to the day’s business. My first stop: my office, where I fire up the computer and check the Harmony’s Heart website to confirm my schedule, check email, and do a short blog about yesterday’s activities with Marieh. I spend about an hour in the office. The workshop scheduled for May 15th is full, with a waiting list that just increased to 3! Very exciting! People really want to learn about what drives them, so this particular workshop has been very popular. I leave a note for my Coordinator to see if we can get another workshop scheduled in for June. I had kept a couple of weekends free, just in case we had a lot of interest and would want to schedule another workshop close on the heels of the one on the 15th. Ask and it is given!

Glenn’s dog went off on the day’s adventures with him, so Baby, my Aussie/Lab mix, has been patiently waiting for me. Okay, Baby, time to go down to the barn and get Wilma gussied up. In the mudroom, I put on a pair of boots and a jacket, and off we go.

Wilma loves to go driving, and greets us eagerly at the gate. I groom her, tack her up, hitch her to the cart, and we head out the driveway with Baby tracking back and forth behind us, tail going a mile a minute. We turn left out the drive and head down toward Tule Lake. I love living in an area that’s all dirt roads! The route around the lake is pretty remote, so no danger of cars, and Baby can roam as much as she wants. Wilma trots along jauntily, in great shape at 22! About halfway around the lake, we slow down and take a breather. Baby runs up to the cart. I stop Wilma, and at my invitation, Baby jumps into the cart and sits beside me. She’ll stay there until we get home, supervising Wilma and me and enjoying the view.

Back at the barn, I give Wilma a well-deserved massage and stretch, let her back into the pasture, and retrieve her granddaughter, Lili. In reality, Lili retrieves me; she inherited her Friesian sire’s sociability, so it’s pretty hard to go anywhere around the barn without this lovely Siamese-colored filly following along. She has taken to her training with enthusiasm, and loves nothing more than showing me how smart she is. Today, after a thorough grooming and love fest, we review all of her online tasks, and then play at liberty for a while. She learns so fast, and toward the end of summer, when she’s just a little older, we’ll introduce her to the saddle and bridle. I’ve already leaned over her back on numerous occasions and let her “carry” me a step or two. She is so proud to do it. What an awesome girl! She is one of the best healing horses I have, too. All of the mares have a wonderful empathy with my clients, and Wilma and Lili are just exceptional.

I head back into the house for a quick lunch, check email, and then my first client arrives. I enjoy private sessions, and each of the clients this afternoon is working on unique issues, so it is always interesting to see which horse will show up for which client.

The afternoon passes quickly. I find the work so rewarding, and being totally in the moment with the client and the horses feels absolutely right. I feel expanded, like I can touch all sides of the universe. I am humbled by the trust the clients put in me and the horses, and always pray that I am responding in a way that is for the greater good of all. It all goes well, and everyone, clients, horses and me, do a lot of smiling.

Before I know it, the last client has left for the day, and it’s time to head back up to the house. I bid each beautiful member of my healing herd a restful evening, thank them for the service they’ve provided today, and make my way indoors.

NOTE that part of my vision includes someone other than Glenn or me to feed the horses and clean up after them. I'm sure there's a housekeeper in there someplace, too - or maybe that's a year or two beyond April 25, 2013. AND the part about the clients is a little bit vague - mostly because I haven't yet attended a CORE and don't know exactly what Gestalt Equine Coaching looks like yet - so that will definitely be expanded as time goes on.

What is your Vision for yourself? Might be fun to try this and find out!

Loving my Vision......Ashara

Sometimes it just looks like Forest

Who knew when I sold one of my Friesian mares and got a Gypsy Vanner gelding as part of the bargain, that he would be an instrument of change? I thought River, the Gypsy, was very cute, and maybe he would be my next riding horse. But then Lili, Wilma's half-Friesian daughter came into the picture and things got complicated. River was starting to be "the extra guy".

Melisa had said at one point that she thought Gypsy's were great for the TBAH program. I wondered if she would be interested in another Gypsy in exchange for my tuition and the cost of the COREs in the Certification Program. The old me would have hesitated to write what I would have considered such a "ballsy" email. However, the me I'm becoming knew she couldn't say yes if I didn't ask, and I had nothing to lose by putting the request out there.

So I did. And after some thought and a few more emails and some photos and a video, Melisa did indeed say "yes"!

The "extra guy" came into my life for his own divine purpose: To help me fund participation in a program for which I have a lot of excitement and passion, and to move to his purpose in life, as part of Melisa's "healing herd." I'm so excited for us both.

Abhain heads to his new home: Travel well, Friend, and thank you!

Values

Wow, two weeks into the course already! First out of the gate: Values, of the Moving Toward and Going Away From variety. Who knew that if the MT and GAF values were in conflict, so would your life? Well, not me, anyway. Learned a LOT about what I value in both directions. I'm still mulling over my MT values a bit, trying to figure out what is really, truly, the number one value that gives my life purpose. Is it Integrity? I thought so for a while. How about Harmony? Another one that's right up there at the top. I value a positive outlook on life as well, but is that what defines me? Love? Humor? Truth? Justice? The American Way? SO many values, so little time. More mulling will be happening about this list, that's for sure.

The GAF value was a lot easier to figure out. My top two GAF values that I will turn myself inside out to avoid: Rejection and Failure. They both jumped out at me, but Rejection is definitely at the top. I've spent my life avoiding rejection, sometimes by being the one doing the rejecting - if I run away first, then I can't be rejected, right?

Melisa says this is one of the hardest topics we discuss and that is definitely true. Define your values, and one starts to understand why life has looked like it has for so long. Tough stuff. Enjoying it, though.

Revolutions and Revelations

Had my first coaching session today with Peggy. In 30 minutes we covered an incredible amount of ground. A lot of it had to do with relationships, and I had some incredible insights into myself. One of my fears was that as I get this training and new business going, it might negatively impact my relationship with my beloved, Glenn. Peggy asked me, "How do you fear Glenn will react?" and I replied that I thought he might be jealous of my success. Then she asked what I really thought his reaction would be. I thought about it a moment, and realized that he will be thrilled. The more successful I am, the more it will enable him to start pursuing his dreams. When one of us succeeds, the other does, too! This might not seem like much, but to me, what an "Ah HA!" moment. Where did that fear of jealousy come from? It came from ME. From inside ME. I can think of more than one occasion when someone would have a success or something good would happen to them, and there would jealousy inside me.

Peggy gave me a wonderful phrase to remember from her friend Marian Head (www.revolutionaryagreements.com). It is one of Marian's 12 agreements: "Look within when I react". Perfect. I had this insight into putting my own emotions on my husband as I was typing this blog. Not fun to admit, and now that I know, I can understand and change my behavior.

Now here's a really cool thing that happened! Each morning, Glenn and I listen to a quick 15-minute meditation from Abraham (www.abraham-hicks.com for more information). There are four different meditations, and I have them on my iPod. Usually I have to scroll through the menus to get to the meditations and start it up, but today, for some reason, I put the iPod in my hand and it just started running. It was on the meditations, and the meditation it pulled up for me - RELATIONSHIP. My angels are watching over me for sure!

DreamState!

Today we're having our orientation call for TBAH, and man, did I have an interesting dream last night! Full of symbolism, it certainly presented a clear picture of my current state of mind.

A horse who started out by being mean and biting me, and later on in the dream we were friends and the horse stood on two legs while we walked arm in arm to my destination. - Afraid of my power, and then embracing it - powerful.

Bicycling with a companion who was quite overweight - if everyone in our dreams is supposed to be us, this could be my inner person, who still harbors the "fat girl" I was growing up. Anxious, insecure, unpopular, never quite fitting in, the girl in my dream was still present toward the end of the dream, but not directly involved in the action. Somewhere along the line she became a bit player.

While waiting for our (Irish) instructor to show up, a car pulled into the bedroom I was waiting in (lounging on a bed), and in the car was a man dressed all in black, wearing a black hat. I immediately recognized this being as the "grim reaper". There was another person on the bed as well, and the reaper pointed and said "I'm here to be with you," and I pointed at the other person and asked "him, or me?" and of course the answer was me. Spooked me in my dream, and I woke up. Had to reflect on this for a while. This aspect of myself may be the pieces that will be "dying" as I go through the process of becoming the best person I can be to help others and do the work I will be learning about.

There are no coincidences. I had this dream at a perfect time in my sleep cycle to remember it with a great deal of clarity, and to understand that it is showing me my concerns, and also, that I will prevail and come into my power along the way, in a very positive fashion.

As my childhood mentor, Mr Spock, would say...."Fascinating!"